The Sexually Frustrated Married Girl

The Sexually Frustrated Married Girl

I picked up a buzzed drunk pair at Masteros Ocean Club in Malibu on a electric Saturday night.  One passenger was clearly a sexually frustrated gal in her early 40’s. The other was early thirties, sharply dressed, body builder and hipster Asian male.  Apparently they where co-workers or friends of sorts.  The lady, clearly more inebriated, began drunk dialing. She then went on a rant on how “he won’t “f*** me”. Then she jokingly asked if her co-rider would “f’” her. We know Sigmund Freud said there are no such things as jokes.The younger lad laughed and let her know Read More >>

Eyewitness Defecation

Eyewitness Defecation

The most horrific image seared in my head occurred three months ago around 3 am on a weekend. I have been debating whether or not to write about this. Oh well, too late now… I had two male intoxicated intoxicated late twenty something passengers in the backseat who shared with me this small window of time where we were witness to pure and unfortunate disgust.  It seemed to happen in slow motion. As I was turning left onto Wilshire the lad in the back nonchalantly blurted out “hey, look a homeless woman is talking a sh*t!”. Read More >>

The Crazy Psychologist

The Crazy Psychologist

I picked up a neurotic mid-life lady about two months ago that was worth writing about. The first thing she asked me was if I was on drugs and that she is able to smell drugs or marihuana easily. I calmly responded and explained that I am not on drugs nor do I carry them. Relived at my answer she apologized for her accusation.  She kept changing her mind about which way to turn and made the ride choppy. She had zero faith in my geographical knowledge or my Waze App. Read More >>

Romanian Playboy and His Fleet of Eastern European Ladies

Romanian Playboy and His Fleet of Eastern European Ladies

About three months ago I received a ping in the Hollywood Mount Olympus area and I found myself arriving at what seemed to be a small party. I parked on the side walk and saw about six scantly dressed, young twenty something Eastern European women smoking and chit chatting on the side walk. I rolled down my window and one gal asked if I was “Uber”? I nodded yes. They let me know that “he” was coming soon to talk to me. In front of my car there was a tricked out 2014 Lotus, which I found out later belonged to a thirty something Romanian man who was leaning against his vehicle. He saw me, stood up, walked over to my drivers side and greeted me with a warm smile. Read More >>

Drunk Ice Skaters

Drunk Ice Skaters

I got a ping mid-day to pick up at a Santa Monica ice rink. I pulled up, looked at the cheerful ice skaters circling around and thought this would be a fun spot to take my four and half year old daughter and my wife. Three excited loud drunks, one gal and two dudes, slipped in my back seat hooting and hollering over their fun time. One fellow bragged how drunk he was, explaining how he knocked over a couple of kids, as the rest euprted in laughter. Read More >>